Saw the good Doctor today, who gave me scrips for anti-biotics and inhalants (for asthma), as well as refills on my blood-pressure meds, which are working: As of this morning the reading was 124/71. I've been thinking too about my "moral" blood-pressure. Be it said--right off--that I am, yes, prone to irascibility, flying off the handle, losing my temper--even of permitting myself to do so (which is damned near unforgivable, I do realize). On the other hand, when I consider the rest of my character, I'm nothing so culpable: (1) I am decidedly non-covetous, envious, or jealous; and as a corollary, I am (2) habitually generous (with those I deem worthy of my benefaction), seldom or never thinking of recompense, nor even of the good karma I'm accruing. (3) I am never malicious, either in doing ill or in contemplating it. (4) I am kind; never (5) rejoicing in my worst enemies' affliction, nor ever (6) viewing with equanimity the afflictions of others.

And the proof of all this is that it utterly bores me to say so. Nothing is so insipid, so dully commonplace, as one's own virtues. I could go on, talking about my scrupulosity, my devotion to truth, my habitual honesty and fairness, my reverence towards affliction, my veneration of the young and of pure character in all beings both sentient and non-sentient. I could state truthfully that I never pick wild flowers and try to avoid even killing bugs. But whom would any of that interest? Much more interesting, I think, is that I distinguish, or try to distinguish, between different kinds of bugs: Mosquitos, wasps, flies, lice, cockroaches, bedbugs, and things which are too small to tell what they are, which are crawling on me, I kill with a glad heart, in as great a number as I can, with whatever means (swatters, poisonous sprays, powders, and ointments) I have at hand or can procure. I try never to kill bees or spiders, because of the benign nature of the former and the (to me) noticeable intelligence of the latter--I have played "gotcha" games with spiders as instinct with madcap charm and espieglerie as kittens. And, for the same reason that I do not eat kittens, I do not eat squids or octopuses: Things which are cute (i.e., which partake of the Spirit of the Rococo), or which are capable of cuteness, to me, are sacred.