I became an atheist by degrees...

I began, at age eleven, after several weeks' reflection while taking a catechism class, by rejecting Christianity--but not just Christianity.  Actually, I began, before I quite realized that I believed not a word of the fundamental doctrines of Christianity, by utterly disbelieving that my heart was corrupt, or that I was sinful by nature, or that I needed "saving" from my sins. I then bethought me that, if I were sinful, and needed somehow to be "saved" from my sins, what divinity, besides myself I would choose to deliver me from my fallen fate? And without having to think about it really, I answered to myself, "Zeus or Apollo maybe--though I like Hermes/Mercury, as a personality, best." I found the sweet shepherd god (Jesus) sexually appealing--but nothing like the hot stuff of Zeus or Apollo (I was an eleven year old boy, after all, and I could easily see myself as Ganymede, or Hyacinth). But, like I say, I've always felt closest, in a friendly, fraternal, non-sexual sort of way to Mercurius Volans. Jesus Christ has always seemed to me to be morbid, a bit hysterical, and intellectually deficient, compared to his handsome, muscular and witty Greek and Roman counterparts. And it so happens that Hermes/Mercury is the only god I think I've ever seen (one Sunday morning, about 5:30, in June, 1968, Chinatown, San Francisco, floating in the air in the middle of the street). It's not that I think Flying Mercury would likely want to save me from my putative sins, but I'd feel comfortable talking to him about them.