At the Movies

Started watching Jesus' Son on Hulu last night, and had to stop, take time out for reflection, about a half or two thirds of the way through (still haven't resumed this morning); because, for all its grinding, unreflecting, troppo serioso heterosexuality and the use of hard drugs taken by hypodermic injection (which I was never into), this is a movie about me.  And my friends.  FH and I are pretty much the same person--even, in 1971, looking alike, except that I was a tad leaner and more muscular (no tummy whatsoever), with blond-streaked auburn hair, rather than black.  But pretty, as we all mostly were then, and as the movie suggests, attractive to women, by whom sometimes, mostly out of vanity, I allowed myself to be seduced.   And when pregnancy resulted, as once or twice it did, I made it clear to the Expectant One:  "I'll support you both for the first two years of the kid's life.  And after that I will support the kid till he's eighteen, but not you."  For some reason, this generous, explicit offer of mine was never accepted, and the gravid ladies always got abortions within the first trimester. Maybe it had something to do with my inability even to imagine the child-to-be as anything but a boy.  I think I'd have been a fine father for a boy, but I wouldn't have known what to do with a girl, for sure.