Trying to read the Quran...

Almost impossible for me, experienced though I be with the loud-yelping clamorous barbarity of the Judaeo-Christian Bible, and even (to a lesser degree) with the tame, 19th century Mormon Bible-likeness of preposterous barbarity--even so, I'm finding the Quran tough going, hard to grasp, too palpably absurd.  Surely there is somewhere a Muslim catechism, or doctrinal gradus that will lead me step by step among the the thorns and nettles of Islamic dogma?  Already, I am slumpt beside the way, hopelessly and with helpless laughter contemplating the number of times that I may be divorced (from a woman) before I get serious.  Not only am I lost, I have no wish to be rescued.